(Over-)analysing Breakups
That's what happens when people break up. They tend to think too much.
You think about the what's: What went wrong? What could have been done better? What should have been said? What (s)he should have done? What I should have done? What is wrong with me?
You also think of the why's: Why did it happen? Why doesn't (s)he like me anymore? Why didn't I see it coming?
And you think of the how's: How did it happen? How can (s)he let me go? How can (s)he do this to me?
The whole process of getting over a break-up is a long and painful one, especially if you've been on the receiving end. It starts off with sadness, confusion, self-deprecation, depression, anger, hate, loneliness, indifference... and finally acceptance.
I read a bit of the book He's Just Not That Into You, and it makes a lot of sense. What they're actually trying to tell you is that guys are not that difficult to understand. There are so many signs that they give us that lets us know that, really... he's just not that into you.
One of the things they mentioned, of course, is that If he's breaking up with you, he's just not that into you. Usually, they break up with you because they are not sure that you are the one. And it's true. Any guy who knows that you're the one they want will never ever let you go. They will go through hell and water to keep you, and will do anything to make you happy. Nothing can be as important as having you in his life.
So why be sad over a break-up? If this guy does not think that you are the one, then we should move on to find the guy that DOES think that you ARE the one. No point wasting each other's time, right? :)
posted by Sum @ 10:51 pm
5 comments
5 Comments:
A nice thoughtful blog you have here. :)
Lol, I just bought that book 'he is just not that into you' last weekend along with the chinese version of 'men are from mars, women are from venus'. Haven't finished reading them up but basically I think what the book 'he is just not that into you' is partial correct especially when apply to Asian guys which has been brought up in a conservative environment.
Haha... what a coincidence! I bought "Not than into you" book ages ago, but just got around to reading it recently. The other Mars book is also very interesting (though I didn't read the chinese version!). You think it doesn't apply to Asian guys? Thought all guys will think the same.
The Mars & Venus books seems quite accurate but the 'he is just not that into you book' are purely based on an Western guy's view so I think it is a little different when come to Asia guys :). Well, would like to chat with you more on this.
Haha... sure! Though I must admit, I have yet to read the entire book. Probably only one or two chapters of it! My friend who did read a whole chunk of the book told me all about it. :) But it is really interesting to see how differently men & women think, and what expectations we all have of each other in relationships. How one can be giving & giving, yet it does not really mean as much to the other party, just because that is not what their definition of 'giving' is...
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