Do you care what people think?
Are you one of those people who are affected by what people think of you? If you are not, congratulations. Life is more relaxing and carefree for you. But if you do care what others think, life can be pretty stressful. One frown, one look, one hurtful word... and you can bounce from happiness to extreme depression.
It's easy to say that you shouldn't care what others think... that all you have to be is happy with who you are and what you've done. It's a totally different matter to actually believe it and practice it.
Is it a characteristic that you're born with, or is it a consequence of upbringing, combined with peer pressure? Can you change it, and if so, how long will it take? Is it right to not care about what others think? As long as you live by your own standards? Will you be egotistical to think that your standards are always correct? But what if those "standards" you live by are not good enough? What if you really SHOULD change your ways so that you improve and raise your own standards? How will you know?
It's tiring, and depressing... I hope someone can figure it out and let me know.
Here's something to enhance my vocabulary:
Atelophobia- Fear of imperfection
Decidophobia- Fear of making decisions
Kakorrhaphiophobia- Fear of failure or defeat.
A full list is available here: http://phobialist.com/
posted by Sum @ 10:17 pm
2 comments
2 Comments:
Try this quote and see if it helps. First heard it on Coach Carter.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
THAT is a kickass quote. Marianne Williamson, whose books might be worth a gander. For example, A Woman's Worth. (NO, I have not read it thank you.)
Be more certain and grounded with your own standards, your own beliefs. People speak from their own biases, their own judgements, their own beliefs, their own standards. Are theirs better than yours? Worse? Or just different?
People's feedback can be useful - after all, you can only see one perspective of yourself: your own. Having other perspectives can be useful. Sometimes.
Here's a great guide to dealing with feedback:
"If 1 person tells you you're a horse, they're crazy.
If 3 people tell you you're a horse, there's a conspiracy afoot.
If 10 people tell you you're a horse, it's time to buy a saddle."
Here's what could be a life-changing question for you: What price are you paying so that everyone thinks you're nice?
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