Gym two days in a row? No way!!
Haha... but that's exactly what I did! :P Went to BodyJam last nite, and CardioDance this evening. Phew... I must be on a roll! :D
Dance is my favourite 'sport'... and what better way to get a workout at a gym than doing a dance-aerobic class? The last time I joined the gym was just because of BodyJam alone. BodyStep used to be a favourite of mine, but that has to take a far second place to BodyJam or any dance related class. :P
Well, this unusual gym-attendance frequency is probably not going to last very long... i.e. this is a pretty rare occurence, I can assure you. I shall reap it while it's hot... ;)
There's a few things on my NY resolution that I've yet to try out... the two which are at the top of the list are salsa and violin classes. I have another month to make sure they happen this year. If not, they will definitely be at top of my list next year. :P
Anyway, after all that 'vigorous' gym workout, my eyes are half-closed now... so gooood-niiiiiteeee.... zzzzzz....
The dawn of a new day...
Today, I did something that I thought I'd never be able to do anytime soon. I called my ex.
We had a pretty friendly chat, though of course things will probably never be the same as before. But think we both handled it pretty well. I thought it would take me far longer to get to where I am now. Just yesterday, I was at such an emotional low, just because of something I came across/saw... which came as a sudden blow, just when I thought I was really starting to get over it.
But then today, I had a revelation... that all is not lost. Not that I am harbouring any hopes of us getting back together again (as one of my friends insisted I was doing!), but just that I realised that the only person preventing myself from moving on... is me. I was the only one who was holding on to the past, and looking for answers that have already been given (but I had refused to see or accept).
It's not good to keep analysing the past because those are things that cannot be changed. We can only learn from it, and if there are mistakes made, make sure that they are not made again. There's no point worrying about the future, because you never can predict what is going to happen... not even in the next minute, hour or day. So why worry?
As my little 8 yr-old cousin (and the yoga teacher) said: "Do not dwell in the past... Do not worry about the future... Live in the present".
And that is something we should always remember. :)
I also have another friend to thank, who really pushed me to where I am now. He told me that I deserved to be happy, and that I was not trying hard enough to move on. He said that I was a loser for being like this, and he didn't want to hang out with losers. Cruel it may seem then, but it needed to be said... coz I was just pushing myself further down the spiral, and only I can get myself out. So, thanks... and I'm glad to let you know, you are definitely not in the company of any loser. :)
Little white lies...
People tell lies for different reasons. Sometimes to protect themselves, sometimes to hide some horrible truth, sometimes to protect the ones they love, sometimes for national security (haha!)... and sometimes to protect the feelings of others.
The last one is the one I want to talk about. How we sometimes lie to protect others' feelings. We do it because the truth hurts. When the truth is too hard to hear and the person who's gonna be hearing it may be too weak to handle it, we tell lies. White lies...
white lie
n : (1) An unimportant lie (especially one told to be tactful or polite)
(2) An untruth told to spare feelings or from politeness
And it's true that truth hurts. But isn't it better to hear the truth than to hear some half-baked lie just to make reality less painful? At least if we know the truth, we know exactly what is wrong and maybe it can be fixed.
When white lies are told, sometimes you have to continue lying to keep up the 'story'. But many forget to follow through with their stories... which make the white lie useless since now the person whom the lie was told to does not know what is truth and what is lie. And believe me, it hurts more when the truth finally comes out.
Enjoying a cuppa at Starbucks
Wifi has been available in Malaysia for a long while now, and now it's everywhere. At the airports, at shopping malls and in these American owned coffee chains. Previously, I think you still had to pay for them, but now it's FREE! So all you need is a wireless-enabled computer, and you can sit all day in one of these nice little coffee shops... order a steaming hot cup of cappucino or a cold ice-blended frappucino... and chat away with your friends, surf the net... or like me write blogs. :) What bliss!
Let me try to describe the atmosphere around here. There's plenty of people around, most of them with their computers with them, taking advantage of the free internet access. Only a couple of comfy sofa chairs available, and unfortunately when I arrived, they were all taken. Darn it! I'm sitting next to this guy who's occupying one of these chairs, and I'm so waiting for him to leave so I can take over! Haha... Light gloomy classical music is playing in the background... so the ambience is not there. A little too much crowd noise for my comfort actually. Ikano is as busy as always, with some Christmas decorations up. But somehow the Christmas feeling is not there. Never really felt the Joy of Christmas here in Malaysia before. Most of the time, we're spending the festive holidays overseas, and we don't really celebrate Christmas anyway.
[On hindsight, I should've ordered a cappucino. I think this brew of the day is a little strong for me. Hmm...]
Will be heading to dinner later at around 6.45pm. It's Dad's birthday tomorrow, so we're taking him to some fancy restaurant in town for a treat. We already bought him a present... or rather, he bought himself a present, and we're paying for it! Haha... Which I guess works out great as he gets what he really wants. :)
It's been a good day so far. Played badminton with some colleagues and friends for about 2 hrs, which gave me a pretty good workout. That's all the exercise I'm getting this whole week, so it better be a good workout!! :P
[Yeah! The guy on the comfy chair finally vacated his seat! Muahaha.... ;) ]
Too bad I ain't got a camera to take a picture of the scene here. :) Would've loved to post the pic here. Next time... when I get my new handphone, ok? :P
Whose fault is it anyway?
"When things go wrong, we shouldn't assign blame." That's what they always tell us. Be it in school, at work or in your personal life.
Well, maybe only in Utopia. In reality, blame is usually assigned subconsciously. It may not appear in the most obvious way of actually pointing the finger at someone and saying "It's her fault!! It's her fault!!". Admit it... we're all a little guilty of pointing the finger once in awhile. We may not say it out loud, but in our minds, we place the blame on someone... be it ourselves or somebody else.
This happened in one episode of Desperate Housewives. There was an outbreak of lice in Lynette's twins' school, and the headmaster told the mothers that they can't tell them who started the outbreak because they practiced a 'no-blame' policy. However, the twins were scratching their head rigorously and some mothers saw that. Automatically, the blame was placed on them... that they were the ones who started the outbreak. After that, they were disinvited from parties and outings, even though in actual fact, they were NOT the ones to blame.
So this 'no-blame' policy actually does not work. Because human nature is such that people are always looking for a scape-goat to take the fall. The more you hide the truth from people, the more curious people get. If they are not told the answer, they make conclusions on their own... be it the right or wrong ones. So isn't it better to just tell them the truth, and save someone else the 'pain & suffering' of being victimised for the wrong reasons?
Shopping Spreeee.....!
Saturday sleep-ins are such bliss! I had a real serious sleep-in today. Woke up only at 2pm! Haha... Well, my defense is that I had a late night... after a 2nd round of Harry Potter and a late night chat with a friend. Slept only at 2am, and was so tired that I just slept right through breakfast and lunch!
After that, my sis, mum and I went to The Curve for some shopping. I actually intended to sit in Starbucks to test out the wireless internet as well as start on the Narnia book (before I go watch the movie). But decided to go shopping instead. And I'm so glad I did! I really did have a shopping spree! Haven't really been shopping lately, so it was good to be in a shop where there's SO much to buy! Spent about 2 hrs in that shop and ended up spending about RM400 on clothes!! Haha... well, it's a good way to start spending my bonus. :P
Next stop... a phone shop. About time to change to a new mobile phone. :) Intend to purchase a new hp with some basic functionalities, like camera, GPRS and maybe Bluetooth? Got any decent and relatively affordable ones to recommend?
Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire
Went to watch Harry Potter last night with my family. Even though it's quite a late show for a weeknight (ok, ok... maybe 10pm isn't late for most of you, but for little old me, it means big ugly panda eyes and a whole day at work where I can't concentrate!).
The movie was ok, I guess. I think I had pretty high expectations for it. I felt most of the scenes were a little rushed. Understandable, since there's so much to be filmed and so little time! Already the movie is 2.5 hrs long... Still they were unable to fit in a lot of scenes, which I thought would've been quite exciting and pretty crucial to the story.
My sister actually suggested that they should make a mini-series out of it, which I think is a brilliant idea! Then they can take all the time they want to shoot every scene, and fit in the whole story as it deserves to be immortalised on film. Though finding another Harry Potter, Ron Weasley & Hermione Granger would be quite tough indeed. Nothing can beat the originals... :)
Well, regardless, I'm going to watch it again tonite. Haha... Second time's the charm, eh? :P
My own worst critic...
The comment made by Cissyn hit home for me. It's true that nobody else's opinion should matter, except for your own. And that everyone's worst critic is themselves. If you're happy with yourself and comfortable with who you are, there's nothing people can say or do that can ever put you down.
But how many of us are happy with who we are? There'll always be comparisons with others... "she's prettier", "he's smarter", "he earns more"...
If you're not able to accept who you are and love yourself, how will anyone else love you? Or even if they do, your doubts about yourself may eventually drive them away, as you constantly put yourself down. As you ask yourself why this person actually loves you... as if you are undeserving of his/her love. The more you feel this way, the harder you tend to try to make him/her love you, and sometimes the harder you try to 'improve' yourself, the worse the situation gets. Does this make sense to anyone??
That's the problem with being a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist does not mean that you don't accept flaws. It's usually true that you are absolutely tolerant & understanding of other people's flaws, but simply do not accept your own. Which makes it really difficult to be happy with yourself. So the answer is to stop being a perfectionist... Easier said than done...! :)
Check out my other blog...
Hey.. in case you all didn't realise, I have set up another blog which I publish articles, e-mails, songs and quotes that I really like and find real meaning in. So do check it out at http://sumquotes.blogspot.com/
I finally managed to book tickets to go watch Harry Potter 4!! Woo hoo! Either this Thursday or Friday. Really hope I get to watch it soon! Have been waiting ages to watch this 4th instalment, which I think should be the most exciting one! :)
Did I mention I went to watch a concert at the Dewan Philharmonic (KLCC)? I went with a couple of friends after the hunt on Saturday. I thought that after a day of treasure hunting, I'd be dozing 10 minutes into the performance! But surprisingly, I was not! I really enjoyed myself. It's such a different feeling, being able to watch the music being played, rather than just listening to it on a cd. You can see the expressions on the pianist's face, the fingering and bowing of the violinists, the dedication of the conductor. Really quite amazing. I'm itching to go again. :)
Holy Matrimony
In today's society, marriage is accepted as a part of life. It's something that you're expected to do at a certain point of your life. But why must everyone comply? If you're not married, does it mean you're a lesser person? Does it mean that you're not lovable or attractive enough?
At first, the problem was just to find yourself a boyfriend. Like marriage, it is something you're expected to have. If you don't have one, people will ask you (or if they are discreet and sensitive enough, ask your friends), why you don't have one? Even if they don't ask, they will think it and wonder to themselves.
And soon, you'll reach that age where you're 'expected' to be married. Probably as you inch closer to the big 30. Other people hear your biological clock ticking. "You're way past your prime... it only goes downhill from now!" is what you'll hear people screaming away in their heads. And before long, you start to believe it. I've been to enough weddings to have the question "When's your turn?" posed to me. And frankly, I really don't know what to say to that. "I don't know... when I actually find someone I want to marry?" And that is the hardest part. Or maybe it's the other side of the story, where I find someone who wants to marry me.
So here's the question: What's so great about marriage anyway? Why do people feel like they HAVE to do it? Is it because you're expected to? To continue on the family line? To have a companion for life (that is if you stick through it for life!)? To have someone to support you financially and emotionally?
I know marriage has its ups... but it also has many downs. Is it all worth it in the end? Well, only the married can answer that question. :)
满栽而归！
... which means, a fruitful hunt it was!! :P Well, if any of you have read the comments made by my sisters to my previous blog, you'd know that the hunt I went to on Saturday was a truly fruitful one... where we actually WON!! Hahaha....
It's been a long while since I've actually won a hunt. The feeling is just absolutely amazing! Especially when you beat some of the regular Masters, and get acknowledged by the organisers as hunters to look out for. It is such a privilege, and such a high to get that kind of recognition. :)
Admittedly, we were all on form that day. We were able to work well together, and solved the questions with relative ease and with plenty of time left to spare at the end to hang around two different supermarkets to look for the final treasure that we were missing. And it really did pay off. In the end, it came down to two teams that were tied for first position with the same number of points (the other team being the regular masters), but because we managed to solve all the treasures, we won!! :P
Now I'm all set for the next hunt! Bring it on!!! :P
Hunting day again...
Tomorrow is another hunting day. Well, to be fair, it's today... since it's already past midnite. :) Yet I'm still awake at this time. Well, it's sure gonna be another tiring day later... I'm supposed to be navigating tomorrow some more! Hope I don't get them lost! :)
Just came back from having mamak with an old college mate and we had a blast just chatting about ourselves, and anything under the sun... and of course laughing away. :) Thanks for giving me such a pick up after an extremely long day at the office, dear friend (you know who you are!).
Well, will be writing more about what happens at the hunt later today. Hope I'll have good news to share!! There are supposed to be only 25 teams in the hunt, so chances are pretty good... provided that the Masters don't turn up! ;) Wish me luck!
(Over-)analysing Breakups
That's what happens when people break up. They tend to think too much.
You think about the what's: What went wrong? What could have been done better? What should have been said? What (s)he should have done? What I should have done? What is wrong with me?
You also think of the why's: Why did it happen? Why doesn't (s)he like me anymore? Why didn't I see it coming?
And you think of the how's: How did it happen? How can (s)he let me go? How can (s)he do this to me?
The whole process of getting over a break-up is a long and painful one, especially if you've been on the receiving end. It starts off with sadness, confusion, self-deprecation, depression, anger, hate, loneliness, indifference... and finally acceptance.
I read a bit of the book He's Just Not That Into You, and it makes a lot of sense. What they're actually trying to tell you is that guys are not that difficult to understand. There are so many signs that they give us that lets us know that, really... he's just not that into you.
One of the things they mentioned, of course, is that If he's breaking up with you, he's just not that into you. Usually, they break up with you because they are not sure that you are the one. And it's true. Any guy who knows that you're the one they want will never ever let you go. They will go through hell and water to keep you, and will do anything to make you happy. Nothing can be as important as having you in his life.
So why be sad over a break-up? If this guy does not think that you are the one, then we should move on to find the guy that DOES think that you ARE the one. No point wasting each other's time, right? :)
Losing steam already?
Been quite busy at work these days, and when I get back home I can't think of what to write on my blog! That's why my blog has been pretty static for the past few days. :)
I'm listening to Bach's Piano Concerto No. 1 at this very moment. Am planning to attend a philharmonic orchestra performance in KLCC this coming Saturday. The friend I'm going with told me that I have to keep listening to it over and over again to get used to the music, so at least I'll be able to appreciate the performance. Rather than falling asleep in the middle of the show!! :P Let's hope not eh!
Last Sunday I went to a treasure hunt... after being missing from the hunting scene for awhile. We didn't do too well, but managed to scrap a 10th position. The questions were really quite difficult though. I was quite happy I could solve quite a few of them. :) Going to another one this coming Saturday. Hopefully we do much better. :P
Jack of All Trades, But Master of None
That's me, I think. I've tried so many things... been relatively good at them at the start, but never really followed them through till the end to really master any particular skill! How terrible is that?!
I could list down all the things I've tried... Now where should I begin?
Sports: Tennis, badminton, ping pong, squash, swimming, pool
Jobs: Accountancy, Computer Science, Actuarial
Others: Piano, Treasure hunting, Dance, Yoga
For all the above, the first time I tried them I caught on pretty quick. I was even quite good at some of them. But later on, when the learning curve picked up... to really excel in anyone of them, I just lost it. Like there's only a limit on how well I can do in each one of them.
So, how bad is it to be a 'Jack of all trades, and Master of none'? Is it better to know how to do a lot of things relatively ok, and not particularly excel in anything? Or to focus on one thing that you can be a Master in?
For jobs, the goal is obviously to be a Master of your own trade. That's when you know you've really succeeded. But how many people can actually do that successfully? At motivational seminars, they always tell you to reach for the stars, to reach your maximum potential. But what if your 'maximum potential' is still not being a 'Master'? Does that mean, in effect, that you have failed??
11/11 11:11
Today's date is the 11 November... 11/11.
These numbers have appeared to be quite significant to me this year. Unknowingly, I seem to glance at the clock when the time is just before or at 11:11 or 1:11. Be it on the computer, my handphone or in my car. It's really weird! I've only started noticing it in January this year. I'm not sure if it's just coincidence, or it means something.
Then I watched the S'pore movie "Rice Rhapsody", and in it there was a French girl that made a big deal out of the date and time 11/11 11:11. When I saw that, I was quite startled. I mean, what could it possibly mean? Is it a sign of some sort? I didn't want to mention it to anybody at the beginning because I thought I would jinx it. But since today is the day 11/11, I thought it'd be interesting to share it.
Any thoughts? :)
The Bible Code
Well, as predicted, I did not actually make it to the gym. Haha... though I did manage to leave the office earlier today. If you consider 9pm early. :)
Actually went to Popular to buy a book that our Europe tour guide recommended. It's the Bible Code 2, by Michael Drosnin. According to Drosnin, the Bible actually has some secret codes in it that has only recently been successfully decoded with the use of the computer. The first book was published in 1997, and it explains how the Bible had been decoded to reveal some significant real life events. Such as the 9/11 Twin Towers incident, as well as World War II & Hitler.
The 2nd book is supposed to be more startling as it is supposed to describe events and phenomenon that indicate the End of Days (ie the Apocalypse). If the book is correct, the End is supposed to happen in 2006. Now THAT is a scary thought.
I can't say for certain if what I've mentioned here is absolutely true, because I have yet to read the book. But this is what the guide told us... When I get a chance to read the book, I will update you on its accuracy. :)
Budapest?
Another nice pic... this one of me in Budapest. Did you know that Budapest is actually made up of 2 cities (Buda & Pest)? I didn't know until I got there! Haha... :P
I'm having trouble getting used to this blog. Haha... I'm so used to the Friendster one already. It seems more user-friendly somehow. I'm still trying to figure out how to beautify the blog space. :P Any suggestions from anyone?
Been really busy at work lately. Preparing for some results-reporting that is due in a months time. And now we're realising how much work there is to do, and problems keep creeping up. My supervisor and I are almost close to tearing our hairs out, I tell you. Sigh...
But one thing good about work is that it's keeping me busy, and keeps my mind off 'things'. For the past few days, I've been staying at the office till about 10:30pm... doing work of course. However previously, I think I would've tried my best to leave early, but now that there's no significant other to meet up with, I tend to do my work more leisurely, I suppose. It's bad... but it helps to keep my mind busy, so I don't have too much time alone in my bed to think about things that could've or might've been.
Well, tomorrow is gonna be another long day at work. Hopefully get to go off early to go to the gym at least. Sigh... Will see how.
The Start of a New Chapter...
The start of a new chapter in my life... it seems appropriate to start with a new blog to commemorate it. Don't you agree?
I guess I need this space to say exactly what I feel and think, and for people who care enough about me to actually come here to read about what I have to say. So before I go on, I guess I just want to thank those of you who are here... for caring. I may not know exactly who you are, and you may prefer to remain annonymous, but I want to show my appreciation anyway. So THANK YOU! And love you all!
I love the above picture, and it aptly describes what I feel inside at this point in time in my life.
